Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Where to begin...
Maybe with an apology for just all of the sudden jumping into your email box after prolonged silence. I have been recovering from a divorce and heartbreak, where I lost my partner, lover and friend; I lost a dream, a home, a future and a garden (some of you know how difficult that can be). I've spent 2 of the last 3 years in a fetal position, incapable of joining society, crying and praying for a healing in the relationship, wondering if I was pleading with a disinterested God. But I've come to understand that the answer was simply not what I had hoped. Ex husband now is newly married and I am forced to relinquish the hope that was keeping me sick and move on with my life.

All of the sudden things have started changing. After trying for a year to get into a little brick bungalow (this was the one I blogged about over a year ago, sure that it was going to be mine) in a scary part of town and being thwarted at every turn, someone else got the house. I frantically searched, my resources being limited, for something else, found an 80 year old farmhouse with a detached garage with an unfinished apartment above. The house was on a double lot full of sunshine, had 2 fig trees, a pear tree, a plot for a vegetable garden, even room for a chicken coop if allowed. "This," I said of the yard, "I could love... but I'm not so sure of the house." Almost on impulse I signed a contract, confident I could transform the dark cave into a home. I could barely catch my breath before the contract was approved, closed, and I was handed the keys. I spent a week tearing out all the dusty blinds and dark drapes, priming and painting the maroon floors a shiny white, and painting over the drab olive green walls. I spent another week moving in my books and art and furniture.

I now wake up giddy every morning to my charming little sunlit home. I walk with delight through the rooms, astonished that they're mine. I am in the process of converting the garage into an art studio, where I will be painting again after almost 3 years of not. I have recovered all that I lost. Well, almost. But more than I ever believed could be possible in so short a time. I am immensely grateful to that Someone I did not believe was hearing me.

You'll be hearing more from me because I'm fiddin' (as some say in these here parts) to go back to France. I leave June 12 and will return home July 3. I then leave to teach a couple of workshops in Ireland! That'll be the first week of August. I'll be writing about all of this. Mostly because if I don't write, I won't remember any of it. It's a journal for me, but many of you say you love it and want more. It also helps a little with marketing; several people have joined me in my workshop in France because of my blog. So be prepared, more pictures of France and Kippy and my fellow students and their work, the food, the landscapes, Paris and the magic of that wonderful country are on the way.

I may bore you with pictures of my humble abode too. Here are a few.

Must go now. Jody Arias is getting ready to speak to the jury.

22 comments:

  1. I can sense your feeling of peace - that deep exhale. I hope you love your new home and your garden blooms and grows insanely. And I hope your artwork will follow suit. I can't wait to see.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 21, 2013

    It looks so much better already - enjoy and be proud of what you've accomplished!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Margaret,
    How painful, but how brave you are to disclose the pains! It has changed your world. Yet, you are "grateful" and stand up again. Art and a new life awaits you. I'll keep praying for you with my heart. Please take care and take your time.
    Kind regards, Sadami

    ReplyDelete
  4. So glad your life has taken a positive turn!

    ReplyDelete
  5. what a beautiful place you have made it! the rooms look so bright and cheerful! i love it! glad you were able to move on! great works of art are coming!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Your house is charming! One's home is an extension of oneself. Creating a lovely home, garden and environment for yourself to heal, to paint and start your life over .... excellent. Now you can start to look forward to your travels and workshops. Rejoice! You have a new life now!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I took a breath when I read the conclusion to your heartache and downturns. I'm so happy you have found a place filled with peace and now you can grow into your new life and new home. It sure is cute and very pretty. I can only imagine the studio and what you will be creating. I look forward to your posts and your exciting return to France. Bon Voyage!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Margaret! This looks and sounds wonderful... I am happy for you and know things are now on the upswing. Looking forward to seeing you sometime soon ... and to painting plein air!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dear Margaret, I've been following your blog for a few years courtesy of Karin Jurick. Your pastels are gorgeous. Wishing you all the best!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Margaret, I've been following your blog for a few years now (courtesy of Karin Jurick). Your pastels are lovely. Wishing you all the best!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear Margaret, it looks like you've created a sanctuary for yourself in your new home. It's a lovely home. Here's wishing you all the best!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Welcome back, Margaret. I am sorry for all your pain. I've been through a bit myself and have had to face the fact that things will right themselves but not on my schedule and not in the way I thought. Thank you for sharing that during times like these we really can't paint. We can not paint. It has been my experience that it is hard to (dare I say impossible?) to have non artists to understand that. That bit has always made me feel a little "less than". Bless you for sharing and for coming out the other side. All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Nice recovery! Congratulations and well wishes on you European workshop tour-sounds cool!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Margaret,

    I am so happy that your life is coming back to you! You most assuredly deserve it.

    I met you years ago at the Ann Arbor Art Fair, entranced by your beautiful figure studies. You spent a long time talking with me about your journey from Graphic Designer to Artiste, the same road I wanted to take. You inspired me. I bought three of your paintings which I still adore and look at every day. I, too, am now a full-time artist, doing what I was meant to do.

    I wish you every bit of the love and support that you have given to others. And much, much joy.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You are an inspiration. Not just your stunning paintings but your will to move forward in difficult times. I am convinced we all will be going through something that will force each of us to learn what you have learned - the answers and strength and new life / light come from within. All the best!!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hi Margaret,
    I am so glad that you are in your own place now. We've never met, but I have thought of you and your quest for that sanctuary we call home. When I look at the photos you took, it seems that the healing has begun and will continue in this space.
    Best to you and I hope we meet some day! And of course, I've been a fan of your work for many years.
    Susan

    ReplyDelete
  17. Margaret, I had no idea what you were going through. I saw posts of art work and the upcoming workshop in France on FB and thought you were doing great. Sorry about your divorce, and congratulations on your lovely abode.I am sure you will garden it into great beauty.
    You are a fantastic writer - very charming and engaging!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ah Margaret - I so love you. You are so human and vulnerable and aren't afraid of sharing your life with those of us who care. I have wondered about you off and on after learning of your emotional and physical challenges and read this post with joy for you and your future. Enjoy France and hug her for me, and Ireland sounds like an incredible adventure. Open your heart to all possibilities - God knows what you need - follow him. I can't wait to see your new work! Jennifer Evenhus

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousMay 23, 2013

    Your beauty and ability to express it should never be caged. I believe the heavens have shifted for you and the many who love you, your beautiful spirit, and your extraordinary work. To quote Tony Kushner, "the great work begins."

    ReplyDelete
  20. Margaret it's good to see that you are doing well and have survived and grown from one of the most challenging things in life. Your work and spirit are beautiful! Keep painting, keep living and keep smiling!

    Can't wait to meet you at IAPS, you're a wonderful inspiration!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thinking of you, Margaret, and brighter days ahead. Shake that dust and conquer the world. Much love to you. Tina

    ReplyDelete
  22. Good job, Marg. Proud of you.

    ReplyDelete